Every step you take…

That was it. That was the song that said it all. That man, Sting his name is, well I think he reads minds. He has to or he wouldn’t have said it so perfectly. Just describes it so perfectly.

She's mine you know. Oh yes she is, and deep down she knows it too. She has to. She has to be able to read what's in my mind. I think it so hard sometimes that everyone must know. In the lecture halls, all those keen minds all focused on me and I'm thinking about her so hard that I forget my place. The absent minded professor I've heard people say but I know they know. I know they know I'm thinking of her.

 

Every move you make…

Her beautiful blonde hair moves just so. In the breeze when she walks around campus, her hair is like strands of fine gold silk. It moves and dances the highlights flashing. She has the most amazing laugh. She knows how much I love her laugh and she laughs just for me, that musical sound just for me. I hear her in the halls you know. She knows, she has to be able to hear the sound of my heart thumping so hard for her when I stand behind her in the cafeteria or in line at the bookstore on Claybourne Street. It’s the one near her apartment. The Book Nook or some such silly name. It's her favorite place, that and the café about half way between the campus and her home. They serve good coffee there. She doesn't drink coffee, prefers tea… herbal tea… peppermint… sometimes chamomile. She drinks a lot of tea, she sits in the window of her apartment alone or sometimes with her room mate and they talk or she reads or studies and she drinks tea. The leaf kind too, no teabags for her. Sometimes she just stares out at the world, reflecting on life I think.

 

Every claim you stake…

Today… when I handed back her paper… it was… God I thought I'd die from desire. She looked at me and smiled that special smile, the one she has saved just for me. Our hands touched as she took hold of the binder. She feels what I feel, she's never said before, never let on in public but I know. And this time she made a public declaration of our feelings! Oh God! I could just shout it from the heavens. She is everything that I am, this golden goddess. I know the reason we have to be careful though, it's too risky just now. I am her teacher after all. If she wants her degree we must be careful. And she is ever mindful of my position too. The university has a strict non fraternisation policy and she knows my job would be at stake as well. That’s why we can't be together yet. That’s why we have to wait. Just a little longer. She only has another semester after these exams and we can be together forever she and I.

We have such plans. She could teach too, she's smart enough. I know she's considering post graduate study as well. Two doctors in the family. Wouldn't that be grand! She was so hard to resist today, the weather unseasonably warm and her arms were bare. Oh my, she has such beautiful toned physique. Lean and feminine but toned and strong at the same time. I watch her when she walks and I can't help but smile. She almost…sashays. And I know it's just for me, that walk its all just for me

 

Every bond you break…

I can't believe it! No! Oh God, Noooo!

She's torn out my heart!

Just today she did it. I know it's because I've been too obvious in public or maybe, after all, she thinks I'm too old for her! Oh god no! How will I survive this…this betrayal? I love her so much and I thought she loved me. How could she do this to me… to us? How could she betray our plans for the future? They left her apartment together this morning and I thought it was just a friend she was walking to class with. It’s another astronomy major, a girl she's been friends with for some time. They spend much time together. But this morning Oh God this morning it was different. They stopped at the café… our café. They were having a light breakfast; she ordered the same little sweet rolls she likes so much. And they… oh god right there in front of me… they kissed. And no it wasn’t just a little friendship type kiss, it was the kind that lovers exchange. You know the ones they exchange in public and you can tell they would much rather be fucking. Barely able to keep there hands off each other but restraining themselves. The dark haired girl would much rather be running her hands over silken flanks and pushing her tongue between golden curls. I KNOW SHE WOULD!! Damn her! How can she do this… how can she just flaunt this in front of me, laughing at me at what we have.

Oh god what will I do now. I can't live without her you know. I just can't. Everything is so empty without her.

I know what I have to do. She will understand this as well. We are one on so many levels that she will know it's for the best. All for her.

 

 

 "Okay everyone. You have your homework assignments. I don't think I need to remind you how important these final papers are to your grades." A collective groan came from the assembled students as they began to file out of the hall.

"Excuse me, Miss Hansen. Might I have a word, please?"

"Yes, Doctor Janeway."

"Would you be able to see me in my office in about half an hour? There is a slight problem I need to discuss with you." The student looked at the professor a frown marring her features; she hoped there hadn’t been any major problems with her recent coursework. This grade was too important to her career plans.

"Certainly, Doctor Janeway. I'll see you in half an hour," she confirmed before turning and leaving the hall.

 

Almost time. Yes everything will be fine. She will understand why I have to do this for her… for us.  Yes. Yes… everything will be just fine.

 

A knock sounded on the door.

"Miss Hansen, Please come in."

 

 

TWO DEAD IN APPARENT MURDER SUICIDE

A university student was shot to death yesterday in what police have described as a murder suicide. Doctor Kathryn Janeway, a respected professor of Astronomy and one of the victim's teachers, used a 9mm semi automatic handgun to kill the young woman before turning the gun on herself. The subsequent search of the doctor's office and apartment turned up rambling diaries of an alleged personal association between the two. The police, after searching the victim's apartment and interviewing her friends, say that no such relationship actually existed.

 

I'll be watching you.

 

 

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